I just checked out the New York Times website to see what was up in the big wide world today. Ouch. Slowdowns, recessions, markets in turmoil, global violence, job layoffs…you get the picture. Oh one piece of great news: Exxon posted a record 58% jump in profits. Thank god somebody is doing well out there.
No I’m not the cynical type. I was in my early youth. 18 years old and smelling bullshit a mile away. Distrusting of the status quo I sought the alternative path, mostly out of reaction (as opposed to real conviction). I fought against authority, bridled against convention, and found solace in the writings of Hesse and Camus and Kesey and Chuang Tzu and Dee Brown and The Beats. I slept on the ground a lot, hitch hiked across the country numerous times, and relied on the kindness of others more than not. I saw the world back then as an adversary and not a worthy one either. I felt like the things that were “wrong” with society (or civilization for that matter) were inherited. I had no say in how they came to be – war, poverty, recession (depression), hunger, inflation, unemployment – all that suffering right? I was not remotely responsible for the world in which I found myself living in. Right?
Or was I? Or am I?
Today I left a voicemail for a sub-contractor friend of mine disguising my voice in a heavy eastern European accent. It’s kind of a running joke we have where I pretend to be this client trying to track him down. As usual I got his voicemail. In the middle of saying something very funny (and very unprintable) I lost it. I started laughing so hard my eyes welled up with tears and I had to hang up the phone. You know the feeling you get when that happens? It is most definitely a feeling of expansion. Just the physical act of laughing is a release. After I hung up the phone I leaned back in my chair and felt even better than I had before I made the call.
So what if we are the world? What if the inner state of being is what drives the outer reflection? What if in the face of collapse we can summon the courage to laugh? What if the drama the world is churning out is only as powerful and impactful as we make it? What if we just laughed in the face of it?
What if we could access that place in all human beings where humor lives? Where lightness exists? Even if it’s just for a moment, in the middle of the day, in the middle of being in fear about your job, or your mortgage, or your portfolio, or your children. What if we all started laughing again? What would happen if the laughter turned to tears turned to laughter again?
Would we affect ourselves in a good way? Would we affect the world? Maybe then our interactions with our neighbor, or co-worker or loved ones might reflect that lightness of being. Maybe the whole globe sets aside its collective drama and starts laughing.
Because to me the funniest joke is that none of us are getting out of this alive.
So what then? Do we take ourselves so seriously with that fact in mind? I know I don’t.
So the next time your feeling tweaked make a prank call to a friend, or watch your favorite comedy, or do whatever it takes to help you feel like it’s just laughter & tears.
J
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Anywhere You Want To Be
Today I had a bit of epiphany. Occasionally that happens to me. An ordinary experience, a normal day, nothing in particular can occur and yet…let me take you there.
Today Meg and I packed the car and headed north with Rita and Ed and of course Bodhi. We went to a farm stand and bought some veggies. Bodhi pulled a wagon around the farm the entire time we were there. From the farm stand we went to an Audubon sanctuary that I hadn’t been to in a while and hadn’t shared with the gang yet. There is a really cool stone formation there that reminds me of Ireland and the incredible rocks and energy in that country. This spot definitely had something mystical about it and it felt like somewhere other than Ipswich, MA.
We all really enjoyed that spot, especially Bodhi. He ran around the paths that wound through the rocks and tunnels over and over again. He gets so excited by being in Nature, even taking these blissful little gasps of breath and saying, “woods”. Too cute I know. But it gets me seeing it fresh from his POV and like I too am seeing things for the first time.
It was a windy cold fall day today and we got back in the car ready to eat some lunch. For some reason we all wished we could transport ourselves back to Italy for a warm delicious meal. We even called a couple of local Italian restaurants on our way home. They were all closed and the Bo Man was nodding out so we decided to do take out from the local chowder place and put Bodhi down for his nap at home.
So here’s my point: we created Italy right in our dining room. We took the take out food and put it on nice china. I made a roaring fire in the fireplace and opened a bottle of Chianti. We had cheese and olive spread and delicious bread and wine. Meg poured olive oil on a plate and added garlic and pepper. We ate some of Ed's homemade dark chocolate for dessert. We laughed and talked about writing and business and dreaming. The fire burned in us all during this gathering and inspiration joined us in a toast to Life.
And before we knew it we were in Assisi cozy and warm and sated. It was that simple. To top it off Nick called from Assisi itself and we got the laptop out and went on Skype. He was in his favorite café and he and Ed spoke Italian together. We laughed some more and it was good to see Nicks smiling face. It was the perfect conclusion to a splendid day.
So where do you want to be? Where would you like to go? Isn’t it all a matter of perspective, of desire? We all had this collective urge to be in Italy for lunch and lo and behold there we were. We wanted to experience a magical place and there we were in a circle of huge boulders – as much a power spot as anywhere. So what is it that makes us think we need to go anywhere to experience happiness or inspiration? Why do we usually believe it exists outside ourselves? What if in reality we are that inspiration, that mystical magical place we seek somewhere else?
Where you want to be in any moment is up to you. It is in fact that simple. You wanna be happy? Then go there. You want to be moved by a beautiful place? Then close your eyes. You wanna be inspired by the extraordinary? Then go open those beautiful eyes and see what’s right in front of you. You wanna love someone? Then throw you arms around yourself.
You wanna be in Italy? Stop by sometime. I’d be happy to show you a little hole in the wall where the service is sublime and the food heavenly.
Ciao, ciao-
J
Today Meg and I packed the car and headed north with Rita and Ed and of course Bodhi. We went to a farm stand and bought some veggies. Bodhi pulled a wagon around the farm the entire time we were there. From the farm stand we went to an Audubon sanctuary that I hadn’t been to in a while and hadn’t shared with the gang yet. There is a really cool stone formation there that reminds me of Ireland and the incredible rocks and energy in that country. This spot definitely had something mystical about it and it felt like somewhere other than Ipswich, MA.
We all really enjoyed that spot, especially Bodhi. He ran around the paths that wound through the rocks and tunnels over and over again. He gets so excited by being in Nature, even taking these blissful little gasps of breath and saying, “woods”. Too cute I know. But it gets me seeing it fresh from his POV and like I too am seeing things for the first time.
It was a windy cold fall day today and we got back in the car ready to eat some lunch. For some reason we all wished we could transport ourselves back to Italy for a warm delicious meal. We even called a couple of local Italian restaurants on our way home. They were all closed and the Bo Man was nodding out so we decided to do take out from the local chowder place and put Bodhi down for his nap at home.
So here’s my point: we created Italy right in our dining room. We took the take out food and put it on nice china. I made a roaring fire in the fireplace and opened a bottle of Chianti. We had cheese and olive spread and delicious bread and wine. Meg poured olive oil on a plate and added garlic and pepper. We ate some of Ed's homemade dark chocolate for dessert. We laughed and talked about writing and business and dreaming. The fire burned in us all during this gathering and inspiration joined us in a toast to Life.
And before we knew it we were in Assisi cozy and warm and sated. It was that simple. To top it off Nick called from Assisi itself and we got the laptop out and went on Skype. He was in his favorite café and he and Ed spoke Italian together. We laughed some more and it was good to see Nicks smiling face. It was the perfect conclusion to a splendid day.
So where do you want to be? Where would you like to go? Isn’t it all a matter of perspective, of desire? We all had this collective urge to be in Italy for lunch and lo and behold there we were. We wanted to experience a magical place and there we were in a circle of huge boulders – as much a power spot as anywhere. So what is it that makes us think we need to go anywhere to experience happiness or inspiration? Why do we usually believe it exists outside ourselves? What if in reality we are that inspiration, that mystical magical place we seek somewhere else?
Where you want to be in any moment is up to you. It is in fact that simple. You wanna be happy? Then go there. You want to be moved by a beautiful place? Then close your eyes. You wanna be inspired by the extraordinary? Then go open those beautiful eyes and see what’s right in front of you. You wanna love someone? Then throw you arms around yourself.
You wanna be in Italy? Stop by sometime. I’d be happy to show you a little hole in the wall where the service is sublime and the food heavenly.
Ciao, ciao-
J
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Finding the Balance
If you read any major headline these days the worldly turmoil is evident all around us. I don’t pretend to be a political or economic analyst. I’m neither. But I have been observing my own internal chaos recently and I can’t help but see the parallels between the outer and inner. Between the world at large and my own little world between my ears.
I’ve been in a bit of a personal recession lately. Physically battling some nasty lingering cold and feeling like my lower back could collapse any time I bend over. The experience of feeling physically like crap and the challenges of growing and shifting a business that is directly tied to the economy and people and their money has me somewhat tweaked. There is some sort of internal transformation going on in me. I’m getting the opportunity to see those things that work and those things that haven’t been working. The old way vs. the new way. For some reason it’s taking a lot of energy and focus to stay in a good place mentally. The ironic thing is my current state of upheaval was preceded by tremendous personal growth. Isn’t it a natural occurrence to experience contraction after expansion? Doesn’t Nature create the same conditions right here on our little planet Earth? Tonight I saw the opportunity to return to balance.
Being an Aries I love the “either or” point of view. I love the extreme of bashing something repeatedly until it crumbles or saying fuck it and walking away in frustration. Could it be a sign that my horns are getting worn down that I can glimpse a life spent in balance with the “extremes” losing their polarizing effect? Just as the stock market has swung wildly of late, I too have known these crazed emotional pendulum like movements. But what I’ve come to see is that when I believe those wild extremes less and less, I swing less and less, feeling more at peace and centered. The result is I don’t sweat stuff as much. I’m more open and receptive.
Everything comes to a balance point eventually. By walking in balance within ourselves maybe just maybe we affect the world around us. Maybe the world in its current state of un-equilibrium slowly comes to reflect those of us who are committed to being in balance. The outer world begins to reflect the inner world. We are tossed less and less by the world and it's upheaval.
The feeling is one of steadiness. So hang on. The ride can be exhilarating (or not). Especially right now. However I am taking the middle road tonight. Letting the left and right do their thing. Hey speaking of that I forgot there is a debate happening tonight. Wow! Talk about EXTREMES!!! Gotta run.
Later gator-
J
I’ve been in a bit of a personal recession lately. Physically battling some nasty lingering cold and feeling like my lower back could collapse any time I bend over. The experience of feeling physically like crap and the challenges of growing and shifting a business that is directly tied to the economy and people and their money has me somewhat tweaked. There is some sort of internal transformation going on in me. I’m getting the opportunity to see those things that work and those things that haven’t been working. The old way vs. the new way. For some reason it’s taking a lot of energy and focus to stay in a good place mentally. The ironic thing is my current state of upheaval was preceded by tremendous personal growth. Isn’t it a natural occurrence to experience contraction after expansion? Doesn’t Nature create the same conditions right here on our little planet Earth? Tonight I saw the opportunity to return to balance.
Being an Aries I love the “either or” point of view. I love the extreme of bashing something repeatedly until it crumbles or saying fuck it and walking away in frustration. Could it be a sign that my horns are getting worn down that I can glimpse a life spent in balance with the “extremes” losing their polarizing effect? Just as the stock market has swung wildly of late, I too have known these crazed emotional pendulum like movements. But what I’ve come to see is that when I believe those wild extremes less and less, I swing less and less, feeling more at peace and centered. The result is I don’t sweat stuff as much. I’m more open and receptive.
Everything comes to a balance point eventually. By walking in balance within ourselves maybe just maybe we affect the world around us. Maybe the world in its current state of un-equilibrium slowly comes to reflect those of us who are committed to being in balance. The outer world begins to reflect the inner world. We are tossed less and less by the world and it's upheaval.
The feeling is one of steadiness. So hang on. The ride can be exhilarating (or not). Especially right now. However I am taking the middle road tonight. Letting the left and right do their thing. Hey speaking of that I forgot there is a debate happening tonight. Wow! Talk about EXTREMES!!! Gotta run.
Later gator-
J
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Coyote's Last Day
Today I was privileged to witness the end of a life.
I had been feeling like there was something a little bit different about the day ever since I woke up. The urge to log on to the internet first thing and follow the descent of the stock market had lost its appeal. My interest in the world had waned this morning. Plus I was out of the office most of the day. I had a number of morning appointments with clients and then had to drive to a job we’re doing out of town about 20 miles south.
On my way back home I decided to stop by REI which was right off the highway and return some things I had purchased last week. As I was driving there a state trooper flew past me with lights and sirens then pulled off the next exit which was the one for REI. Traffic slowed as a result.
This exit dumps out onto a rotary (roundabout if you’re European – and a mystery if you’re not from Massachusetts). I could see another local police cruiser that had pulled over to the side of the road and the two police officers were looking in the grass at the edge of some woods. At first I thought maybe a motorcycle had misjudged the turn. Then I saw him.
He was lying like a dog would with his paws in front of him, and his body slightly curled. His head was up and he was looking straight ahead. He was panting but not out of fear - just like he was a little thirsty. Today was a hot day for October.
Traffic was moving slowly as people tried to squeeze their car past the angled cruisers. As I passed by I looked at this beautiful large coyote lying there as if everything was fine. I looked into his yellow eyes and was immediately altered by what I perceived. This was his last day and he knew it. I mean he totally understood that this was the end, that there would be no way out like so many near misses before. This is where he would stay. I don’t know how to convey what I felt as I witnessed this coyote staring back at me for a brief moment. It blew me away. He was a warrior.
I continued on my way to REI. After about 20 minutes I was back on the rotary and passed by the warrior. He was spread out and lying on his side. He was dead from a single bullet to his chest. I saw in a flash what had happened. He was hit by a car and came to rest in the tall grass, his hind legs broken. Someone called it in and the police came quickly. Coyote’s conjure fear around here. They are not welcome in suburbia. The local policemen (who was in a K-9 cruiser – I could hear the dog barking wildly as I passed the first time) un-holstered his Glock 9mm. He walked slowly to the coyote and got within five feet of him and took aim. As his finger slowly compressed against the trigger the coyote looked straight into his eyes knowing this was the final instant of a life lived free and wild.
The noise from the pistol sounded loud and foreign in this populated place. The yellow eyes never blinked. Coyote tried to take one last breath before seeing the sun and the sky and this earth for the final time. The life was ebbing out of him.
And then he was gone. Gone back to Life. Another cycle completed.
Good journey to you my brother. You died a Warriors Death.
I am honored to have been a small part of your last day.
Good journey to you my friend.
J
I had been feeling like there was something a little bit different about the day ever since I woke up. The urge to log on to the internet first thing and follow the descent of the stock market had lost its appeal. My interest in the world had waned this morning. Plus I was out of the office most of the day. I had a number of morning appointments with clients and then had to drive to a job we’re doing out of town about 20 miles south.
On my way back home I decided to stop by REI which was right off the highway and return some things I had purchased last week. As I was driving there a state trooper flew past me with lights and sirens then pulled off the next exit which was the one for REI. Traffic slowed as a result.
This exit dumps out onto a rotary (roundabout if you’re European – and a mystery if you’re not from Massachusetts). I could see another local police cruiser that had pulled over to the side of the road and the two police officers were looking in the grass at the edge of some woods. At first I thought maybe a motorcycle had misjudged the turn. Then I saw him.
He was lying like a dog would with his paws in front of him, and his body slightly curled. His head was up and he was looking straight ahead. He was panting but not out of fear - just like he was a little thirsty. Today was a hot day for October.
Traffic was moving slowly as people tried to squeeze their car past the angled cruisers. As I passed by I looked at this beautiful large coyote lying there as if everything was fine. I looked into his yellow eyes and was immediately altered by what I perceived. This was his last day and he knew it. I mean he totally understood that this was the end, that there would be no way out like so many near misses before. This is where he would stay. I don’t know how to convey what I felt as I witnessed this coyote staring back at me for a brief moment. It blew me away. He was a warrior.
I continued on my way to REI. After about 20 minutes I was back on the rotary and passed by the warrior. He was spread out and lying on his side. He was dead from a single bullet to his chest. I saw in a flash what had happened. He was hit by a car and came to rest in the tall grass, his hind legs broken. Someone called it in and the police came quickly. Coyote’s conjure fear around here. They are not welcome in suburbia. The local policemen (who was in a K-9 cruiser – I could hear the dog barking wildly as I passed the first time) un-holstered his Glock 9mm. He walked slowly to the coyote and got within five feet of him and took aim. As his finger slowly compressed against the trigger the coyote looked straight into his eyes knowing this was the final instant of a life lived free and wild.
The noise from the pistol sounded loud and foreign in this populated place. The yellow eyes never blinked. Coyote tried to take one last breath before seeing the sun and the sky and this earth for the final time. The life was ebbing out of him.
And then he was gone. Gone back to Life. Another cycle completed.
Good journey to you my brother. You died a Warriors Death.
I am honored to have been a small part of your last day.
Good journey to you my friend.
J
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