Before My Last Breath

Please pardon the intrusion, it is Michael here. I must apologize for my brother Uri – he is at times intrusive and lacking the proper decorum for one of our kind. Some call him edgy and vulgar. I myself see him as young and impulsive. His view of the human he has been mandated to protect is somewhat inappropriate. We normally do not discuss our humans lives in public, and least not in a such an open forum like what you humans refer to as a “blog”. I must admit to a tinge of embarrassment in what is being openly shared amongst you humans these days over cyber space. With the simple entry of a mere word an entire world opens up at your fingertips. What is this portal called? Giggle? Oh, no, Google. It’s as if “knowledge” is dispersed from an unauthenticated source yet is received as gospel (if only the real gospel was heard again). If you desire an opinion on any subject (or person for that matter) you only have to type it in and hit send. It is my wish to return this forum t...

Hey Uri here again. So that was interesting. This blog got WAY more attention since I took over the writing duties from you know who – mister CTD (crash test dummy) himself – laymo Jaymo. What is it with that kid? Moaning and groaning all the time about wanting to be a writer, and how he is stressed out from work and has no time whatsoever to sit down and put his “enlightened” thoughts on paper. As a matter of fact he’d be much safer if he was at his desk and not running around trying to be Evel Knievel. If you added up all the time in plaster casts and getting stitched up he could’ve written a War & Peace size memoir. Sure would make my job a whole heck of a lot easier if he was sitting still… So Mike, Gabe, Rafe, and I were Skype-ing each other last night around 3am when our humans were supposedly sleeping. That’s the only time we can rap about stuff. Skype is a friggin’ godsend (from where else?). We don’t show up on the screen cause of course we can’t be seen in this ...

Hi. Jamie has taken a break from his blog and I’ve decided to fill in for him. I am his “guardian angel”. Call me Uri. Look, I just want to take this opportunity and this forum to get some things off my proverbial chest. First off, we get no respect – I mean zip, zero, nada. People love to talk about their “angels watching over them” like it’s some fluffy namby pamby occupation complete with big lovely wings (like that stupid John Travolta movie) and Bach concertos playing soothing soundtracks and the entire deal Oprah approved. Bullshit. It ain’t like that at all. It’s dark and nasty and nitty gritty stuff. You all only hear about the humans who die. And don’t get me going about the repercussions of letting your “assigned”* human expire – baaaaad, baaaaad, baaaaad is all I can say. The boss hates when we f-up and let a human die. Usually it’s cause we went for a smoke, or grabbed a café latte or something – I mean we need a break too…but I digress. *There is one G.A. assign...

This morning I woke up feeling just like I have the entire past month. Dog tired (even after eight hours sleep) and lacking the morning fire I’m so accustomed to. I could feel my frustration build as I mentally scrolled through all that I have to do today. It got even worse when I visited a couple of projects we have going and saw things either not moving fast enough (according to me) or done the way I wanted (again, according to me). Ahhhh. Yet again another beautiful day off to an ugly start. I mean obviously all the ugliness is inside of me as the rest of the world is clearly oblivious to my inner turmoil. That’s cool. So I stopped by the Atomic Café for my morning cappuccino (yeah, yeah, I got it rough huh?) which Andrew so generously gave to me no charge. That was the beginning of a subtle shift inside me. Mellissa was bopping around behind the cash register and I could feel the energy just crackling off of her as she greeted customers as if each one was her favorite pers...