Before My Last Breath

I felt it important to add one last blog for 2008. I’ve been in a kind of “holidaze” recently and just haven’t felt compelled to write. I can hear some of my beloveds groaning at that last comment. I know that I’ve been MIA but that’s OK. I still have plenty to share and more to say. Will you stay tuned in 09? I hope so. Today however is the last day of 08. Another wonderful year has come and gone. Filled with so much living, a little procrastination, and a whole lot of love. It was, as they all are really, a fine year. I made every attempt to end this year on a high note. So that meant getting up at 5am, assembling my mountain bike gear, loading the bike in the truck and heading off to a 7am client meeting. As soon as I was finished with the meeting I dialed my buddy and brother in arms Jimmy and told him I was on my way to the woods. He and Moon (the man) and Takoda (the dog) met me there and we headed out just as the snow started falling. It was cold and silent except ...

I woke up this morning thinking about epitaphs. I don’t know why, or if something in particular triggered it but as I went about my morning ambulation I kept wondering what if you could live your own epitaph? If you knew someone was going to write about you after you were gone, how would you live, and what would they say as a result? What kind of life did you lead, what sort of person were you? And knowing all this how would you live? What choices would you make? Would you smile more? Would you be kinder? Would you have more patience? Would you take better care of your body? Your mind? Would you complain less? Would you remember to say thank you and please? Would you take out the garbage un-reminded? Would you stop to smell the flowers – literally? Would you hold the door, or let someone go ahead of you in traffic? Would you pick up the phone and call someone you care about and say “I love you”? Would you give away some of your money to charity, or someone less fortunat...

It’s been a while since I can say that I had mud on my legs and actually appreciated that fact. You see I went for a mountain bike ride Sunday afternoon. The last time I was off road on a bicycle I lived in California. That was six years ago. My old ti bike has been transformed into a rigid forked, slick tired city basher that can pull a Burley trailer with baby. The cold weather has arrived suddenly and riding a road bike in weather like this sucks. You need a thousand layers on and even then your fingers and toes freeze. I am a warm weather roadie. Riding the rollers indoors is an exercise in will and focus and patience. I started thinking there had to be a better way to keep riding my bike outside until the snow started falling. I had a brilliant and simple idea. I’d buy another bike. Mon dieux! Not another bike! Yes add another to the stable of 3 now 4. So a friend of mine sold me his full suspension bike that he never rode and was in virtually showroom condition (tha...

Last night something amazing happened. Some might call it a miracle. Some felt as if their prayers had been answered. And still others felt the despair in their hearts loosen as they watched this unique American spectacle called Election Day. It wasn’t even close this one. The hope and desire for real change manifested itself in the man who won the election by a landslide. The snapshots of Americans who voted for Obama were varied and diverse. The images of people, yeah just people of so many colors standing as one were spectacular. But what struck me the most was the reaction from around the world. The photographs of citizens from places far from this American soil showing their optimism and joy for the new president to be were beautiful. It blew my mind. It reflected the connectedness that we all share – the oneness of humanity. It was as if color no longer mattered (when really did it ever?). It was like we finally grew up as a civilization. And the man on the TV screen was one of u...

I just checked out the New York Times website to see what was up in the big wide world today. Ouch. Slowdowns, recessions, markets in turmoil, global violence, job layoffs…you get the picture. Oh one piece of great news: Exxon posted a record 58% jump in profits. Thank god somebody is doing well out there. No I’m not the cynical type. I was in my early youth. 18 years old and smelling bullshit a mile away. Distrusting of the status quo I sought the alternative path, mostly out of reaction (as opposed to real conviction). I fought against authority, bridled against convention, and found solace in the writings of Hesse and Camus and Kesey and Chuang Tzu and Dee Brown and The Beats. I slept on the ground a lot, hitch hiked across the country numerous times, and relied on the kindness of others more than not. I saw the world back then as an adversary and not a worthy one either. I felt like the things that were “wrong” with society (or civilization for that matter) were inherited. I had no...

Today I had a bit of epiphany. Occasionally that happens to me. An ordinary experience, a normal day, nothing in particular can occur and yet…let me take you there. Today Meg and I packed the car and headed north with Rita and Ed and of course Bodhi. We went to a farm stand and bought some veggies. Bodhi pulled a wagon around the farm the entire time we were there. From the farm stand we went to an Audubon sanctuary that I hadn’t been to in a while and hadn’t shared with the gang yet. There is a really cool stone formation there that reminds me of Ireland and the incredible rocks and energy in that country. This spot definitely had something mystical about it and it felt like somewhere other than Ipswich, MA. We all really enjoyed that spot, especially Bodhi. He ran around the paths that wound through the rocks and tunnels over and over again. He gets so excited by being in Nature, even taking these blissful little gasps of breath and saying, “woods”. Too cute I know. But it gets me se...

If you read any major headline these days the worldly turmoil is evident all around us. I don’t pretend to be a political or economic analyst. I’m neither. But I have been observing my own internal chaos recently and I can’t help but see the parallels between the outer and inner. Between the world at large and my own little world between my ears. I’ve been in a bit of a personal recession lately. Physically battling some nasty lingering cold and feeling like my lower back could collapse any time I bend over. The experience of feeling physically like crap and the challenges of growing and shifting a business that is directly tied to the economy and people and their money has me somewhat tweaked. There is some sort of internal transformation going on in me. I’m getting the opportunity to see those things that work and those things that haven’t been working. The old way vs. the new way. For some reason it’s taking a lot of energy and focus to stay in a good place mentally. The ironic thin...