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el sueño del amor

Last week we took a vacation to Sedona AZ. Not that we really could afford a vacation at this time. My business is extremely slow and I've temporarily laid off some of my employees. But we had booked the tickets months ago with frequent-flyer miles and were depleted from a VERY long hard winter, so we needed a break. Yeah, so that's the story anyway.

You could say that our Dream was in flux. And you could also say that Megs and I were stressed from all the busy-ness in our lives. Writing a book, raising a toddler, running a construction business - all these things are pretty much normal, but we had some unforeseen situations that compounded the stress level and in general Meg & I were acting more like business partners than co-creators of our own expansive reality as husband and wife.

For me I know that I was more and more in resistance to what I was experiencing, and consequently more and more stressed out. The more I tensed up I got, the less awake I felt. The more work I lost to other contractors who were underpricing, the more bitter I felt. In short I had lost my capacity to Love.

Now before you dear readers feel like I "doth protest too much" what with millions of people in similar situations, I have to say that until recently I have been pretty cool with whatever Life threw my way. But now I have become just pissy and cranky. That is until I went on vacation.

Distance from the bubble of our own particular dream can often give us a new perspective on it. Sedona did that for me. It took a few days into our vacation before I began to let go, breathe, relax, and expand. I took a break from the intensity of life here and in doing so gained another point of view. Or should I say rediscovered what I'm here for. Why am I here?

To love. Love. Love it all. And with love comes Gratitude. No matter what shows up - Love it. Sure when things are humming, the economy is good, money is flowing and increasing, it's easy to love. When there is no stress love is no problem. But when things get under pressure, the investments lose their worth, business goes bad, relationships get tested, love seems to slip away. Why? Isn't that when we need it the most?

While in Sedona I had the good fortune to borrow a beautiful motorcycle from my brother and best friend Rick. The bike is a work of art (07 black Kawasaki Z1000 for you aficionados) and Rick and I had some unbelievable experiences on his two motorcycles that week. Whenever I ride I get into this amazing state of freedom and bliss - it truly lifts me in a way that is unique. Rick was so generous in allowing me to take the "Z" whenever I needed to. On this particular day I rode across town to get a massage. After a wonderful hour and half of bodywork I felt open and peaceful. I rode up to this Tibetan stupa and sat for awhile and let myself go. Really just dropping out of my head and back into my heart. I got back on the bike and rode to meet Meg and Bodhi at the supermarket to shop for dinner.

As I was riding to meet them I passed a building that was empty and caught my eye. It looked like it once been a retail store of some kind. On the big picture window in large four foot letters was written the word "LOVE". That's it. One word. And that one word by total chance got my attention as I passed by. Love. What was I fighting? Who was I resisting? Why? What if I simply surrendered to that word. What if I gave all of my faith and doubt, all of my anger and joy, all of my bitterness and hope to that one simple word.

LOVE.

Because long ago I had a Dream of Love. In my dream I could be in a state of love no matter what or who showed up at my door. Complete and utter love. Why not? What do I have to lose? What is there to resist?

That is the reason I went to Sedona. To reawaken to my desire. To let go of my resistance. To embrace LIFE. The Dream of Love is calling.

Can you hear it?

J

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