Before My Last Breath

Weds 01/26/2010 Tonight we had a small gathering at our house as the next Nor'easter approached. The purpose was to hang out, mingle a bit over snacks and tea then sit and meditate or "Dream" as we refer to it. Meghan and I have been opening our home to friends and students one night a month to come sit, let go of the days bustle, relax and connect to source - whatever that may look like for each person. Afterwards, I reflected on the path that led me to this moment and had to chuckle..."what a long strange trip it's been". Growing up and meandering through the public school system I was rebellious and not a particularly attentive student. I was bored mostly but got by somehow without really much effort. Let's just say authority and I never saw eye to eye. College really was a continuation of the same; minimal effort, lack of respect for the curriculum and those teaching it, decent grades, but little or no direction. Yet there was a part of me that...

It's pretty much mid-winter here in New England and that inevitably leads me to wondering if I am living in the right part of the world. Snow, cold temps, ice, sand, salt, shoveling, digging out jobsites, clearing snow off trucks, tracking all that crap though customers’ houses or my own. Lack of outdoor cardio exercise. Always battling to stay healthy and not getting what the guy next to me in the checkout line hacking and sneezing has. And then last night I dreamt of riding my motorcycle and the roads were dry and the landscape green. Ok, so you get the picture. Definitely challenging after repeated snow storms this year. For the majority of my adult life I have been fairly nomadic. Since I left high school I have lived in New York, Massachusetts, Virginia, Oregon, Colorado, Montana, Utah, and California. So I know all about changing venues. I have for a long time wanted to live in Madrid New Mexico. Although my beloved has threatened to abandon me if I am remotely serious ...

Yesterday I had the pleasure of spending the day with my 3 1/2 year old son Bodhi. His mom requested a day to focus on her book and not be distracted by the boys building and destroying different structures in the rooms outside her office. Bo and I left the house by 8am and went to our favorite breakfast joint - the Atomic Cafe. From there we ran some errands, stopped by one of my projects, and finally headed out of town to begin our adventure. The first stop was the Wenham Train Museum. We've been there before but it never gets old...many cool trains to check out, tons of other kids and of course the gift shop. Bo loves to pick out a car each time to add to his Leno-esque collection. He even let me pick one out too. Quite generous especially given I was the one buying. Nice work Bo! From there it was off to Newburyport for some lunch at one of my favorite Mexican joints. Of course Bodhi fell asleep in the truck on the way up and he clung to me like a baby Koala bear as I e...

Editors Note: Please ignore any hint of sexism here in the following post. The author loves women, women's clothing, and of course being a man. If this note doesn't confuse you, keep reading... Friday January 7th I'm going for five (count 'em like your fingers) days in a row on the road bicycle (it's actually a 'cross bike ready for winter riding complete with lights and fenders) - heading out this afternoon to Hamilton and back. I am back in saddle after a miserable 6 weeks off. Regarding my whining of late - I think I know what happened. Back in early November when the cold weather first appeared in North Conway during the Porky Gulch Race I felt this constriction around my thighs. Weirdest thing, I'll tell ya...like I couldn't really move freely. On top of that I was cranky and moody all December and completely off the bike. No one really wanted to be around me, not my wife, kids, crew, even my dog was done with me. Well on Monday I decided to have...

New Years Day 2011. I feel like another semi-seismic shift has occured in my awareness today. A kind of adjustment to the way I'm seeing the world around me. It all started when I smelled the ocean. Pretty amazing that our sense of smell can trigger something other than a memory. This morning it led to feeling so totally present and so completely insignificant. So how'd all this come to pass? A bike ride of course. After getting the morning to sleep in which for me is anything past 7am I eventually suited up and heading out on my 'cross bike. The temp was a delicious 50 degrees and with the snow piled up and melting fast, made it feel like Spring. If only! It has been weeks since my last ride outdoors and it felt good to actually be moving instead of spinning away in my office after work staring at my computer and some inspirational training program. Ahh. As I made my way towards the town line at Preston Beach the smell of the ocean was deliciously pungent, and very ...