It’s a mindset. And one that until you reach certain milestones around age, you really don’t think too much about it. Here are some obvious milestones:
Puberty.
Getting your driver’s permit at 16.
Being able to vote in your first election at 18.
Legally able to drink at 21.
Then the next couple milestones might be around 30 or 40. The realization sinks in that you’re not 25 anymore.
A deep dive into middle age is on deck.
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I have felt youthful my entire life. And by good genetics or a Peter Pan outlook on life I never really felt my age.
Turning 50 was no big deal. Turning 60 also didn’t feel that momentous. I did have a total knee replacement that year and that was an indication that some things with my body were worn out. But that was a game changing operation allowing me to continue my very active lifestyle pain free.
But this past year being 65 has fucked with my head. I see the manifestations of aging showing up on my body. Hair loss. Muscle loss. White beard. And sometimes that troubles me.
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And as a self-proclaimed mindset coach I’d like to wrap you into my process around this aging business.
I strongly believe that vulnerability and transparency as a man living in the 21st century is essential to our wellbeing.
Being in touch with your emotions and vulnerable as a man is more accepted and apparently becoming more mainstream. If the Kelce brothers (pro football players – “manly men”) can cry on their podcast or on TV then there’s the green light for the rest of us men to do so as well. Thank you Jason and Travis for making it cool.
So back to being 65 and turning 66 in three weeks.
It finally feels like I have accepted that I’m not 30-40-50-60 anymore.
So how do I adjust to this new reality?
How do I manage my headspace and use it to my advantage?
Perhaps the biggest practice is to not fall into some pre-scripted story about “getting old”. How our body and mind are in decline as we age and there’s little hope of staying youthful. How our culture promotes and highlights youth and youthfulness.
I definitely call bullshit on that belief that we should be “forever young”.
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The three main practices that I use to counteract the prevalent ageism in society are these:
Acceptance. I do not deny that I will age. I get the life-cycle that is part of the deal with taking a body and being born. That the other end of that life-cycle is death. Cool. Got it.
Appreciation. Being on the planet this long has some big upsides. Namely perspective, wisdom, gratitude for getting this far, and the desire to give back.
Action. In what way can I support my body and mind to be as healthy as possible? The inertia involved in starting a new routine whether it be exercise or diet can seem paralyzing. By taking action and responsibility we can take back some of the aging manifestations and be in a more empowered body mindset.
I want to stress that it’s a practice and one I adhere to daily. I won’t say it’s easy to stay positive and empowered when getting up off the couch where I’m currently writing this blog and feeling stiff for a few steps. Being ok with that negates the start of a story about being old and then tripping down that rabbit hole.
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As a mindset coach working with men significantly younger than myself I can offer them a unique perspective from my vantage point. All these hard won scars gave birth to the wisdom that one develops over the years. I like to utilize those life experiences to share a pathway to more authenticity, more availability, and more contentment in my men clients.
That said I sometimes wish I had an old guy like myself to work with and share notes with on this beautiful journey called getting old.
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Here’s some homework: take your number – whatever age you currently are – and write it down on a chalkboard or a piece of paper.
Now erase it.
From that point on your life is a blank slate. See the possibilities when there is no number?
Thanks for reading.
Jamie Gilroy is a Mindset Coach working with men to unlock their fullest potential. Are you looking to tweak and improve some issues in your life? Are you interested in a free clarity call to investigate working with Jamie? Email him at jbgilroy@icloud.com Check out his website to learn more about the work he does: https://jamesbgilroy.com
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