I guess this is my week to write about my life as a general contractor since it’s pretty much what I focus on every day. Yup, it’s my job. Last night I dreamt of another client. Just so you don’t think I’m crazed and obsessed I almost never dream of projects or clients. But maybe there’s a good reason I am. Let’s see.
In the dream I was walking with the client and looking at the work that we were supposed to complete and that someone else had been hired to finish. I wasn’t that impressed with the quality but the client seemed happy so I didn’t say anything negative. We walked together for awhile. I kept sensing he wanted me to approve of something - not just the work but maybe him or the process we went through. Actually I wasn’t entirely sure why I was there.
Now I am.
I really like the client I was dreaming of. He’s a good guy, a guy’s guy – someone I could relate to: a father, hard worker, trying to do his best in the world and take care of his family. The only problem is he fired me, or maybe I fired him. Our relationship went south and that rarely happens to me. I really try to treat people fairly, openly, and honestly and most 0f the time have a successful relationship with my clients. This particular client owes me a substantial amount of money. He had to hire someone else to finish his project after I left. The lawyers got involved (so far no resolution many months later) which in 26 years of being self employed I have never experiened. And yet amazingly I feel fine about it. I mean I wish it hadn’t ended the way it did. But it did.
This experience is an opportunity for me to see where I get hooked and if there is still some residue or sticky belief from the unsatisfying way this relationship ended. I can honestly say there was no animosity on my part in the dream (or on his side from what I could tell). For me it comes down to choice. How do I want to choose to feel? Is it worth getting stressed or angry over? Do I want to make the client wrong? Or myself wrong? Do I see my contribution to what the outcome was? Absolutely. Do I beat myself up over it? No way. Why would I? For me it comes down to respect. Respect for the emotions I will initially feel, respect for the way I want to eventually feel, respect for choosing to feel OK about a less than ideal outcome, and respect for how the other person feels.
Here’s the deal: I respect the way the client decides to feel about me. In the past that would eaten me alive knowing someone didn’t like me or thought I was incompetent, or wasn’t happy with me. I truly respect the way I am perceived by others and I’m not advocating apathy or carelessness in my relationships. The ways in which people choose to form opinions are vast and specific to their individual experiences. I learned awhile ago I can’t control that, nor do I want to. At that point for me it’s no longer personal.
My goal in doing this unique business of renovating people’s homes is to promote happiness and create beautiful work. I do have a responsibility to my clients and yet I am not responsible for their happiness. That was what used to hook me. Some people aren’t happy. Period. I will do my best to build a beautiful product. I will also do my best to ensure that the process is enjoyable and provide good communication. But sometimes things don’t go right. I wish that weren’t the case but it still happens on occasion. I try to learn from it, make the necessary adjustments and move on.
I want to be a dream builder. Forgive me if I don’t always get it right. But I love the learning curve and no longer resist it. I’m learning to see every interaction as an opportunity.
Even the ones that don’t end up well. In some ways those are the ones that inform the most…
See you out there in my dream.
J
In the dream I was walking with the client and looking at the work that we were supposed to complete and that someone else had been hired to finish. I wasn’t that impressed with the quality but the client seemed happy so I didn’t say anything negative. We walked together for awhile. I kept sensing he wanted me to approve of something - not just the work but maybe him or the process we went through. Actually I wasn’t entirely sure why I was there.
Now I am.
I really like the client I was dreaming of. He’s a good guy, a guy’s guy – someone I could relate to: a father, hard worker, trying to do his best in the world and take care of his family. The only problem is he fired me, or maybe I fired him. Our relationship went south and that rarely happens to me. I really try to treat people fairly, openly, and honestly and most 0f the time have a successful relationship with my clients. This particular client owes me a substantial amount of money. He had to hire someone else to finish his project after I left. The lawyers got involved (so far no resolution many months later) which in 26 years of being self employed I have never experiened. And yet amazingly I feel fine about it. I mean I wish it hadn’t ended the way it did. But it did.
This experience is an opportunity for me to see where I get hooked and if there is still some residue or sticky belief from the unsatisfying way this relationship ended. I can honestly say there was no animosity on my part in the dream (or on his side from what I could tell). For me it comes down to choice. How do I want to choose to feel? Is it worth getting stressed or angry over? Do I want to make the client wrong? Or myself wrong? Do I see my contribution to what the outcome was? Absolutely. Do I beat myself up over it? No way. Why would I? For me it comes down to respect. Respect for the emotions I will initially feel, respect for the way I want to eventually feel, respect for choosing to feel OK about a less than ideal outcome, and respect for how the other person feels.
Here’s the deal: I respect the way the client decides to feel about me. In the past that would eaten me alive knowing someone didn’t like me or thought I was incompetent, or wasn’t happy with me. I truly respect the way I am perceived by others and I’m not advocating apathy or carelessness in my relationships. The ways in which people choose to form opinions are vast and specific to their individual experiences. I learned awhile ago I can’t control that, nor do I want to. At that point for me it’s no longer personal.
My goal in doing this unique business of renovating people’s homes is to promote happiness and create beautiful work. I do have a responsibility to my clients and yet I am not responsible for their happiness. That was what used to hook me. Some people aren’t happy. Period. I will do my best to build a beautiful product. I will also do my best to ensure that the process is enjoyable and provide good communication. But sometimes things don’t go right. I wish that weren’t the case but it still happens on occasion. I try to learn from it, make the necessary adjustments and move on.
I want to be a dream builder. Forgive me if I don’t always get it right. But I love the learning curve and no longer resist it. I’m learning to see every interaction as an opportunity.
Even the ones that don’t end up well. In some ways those are the ones that inform the most…
See you out there in my dream.
J
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