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To What End?

I have a really cool friend. His name is Mitch. I call him Doc cause he’s a chiropractor. I also call him Moshe because he’s Jewish. He’s like an old rabbi who has a twinkle in his eye and a wisdom that runs deep. Mitch isn’t old yet though. He’s a few years younger than me. We have been friends for about 16 years. A long time ago he helped me to integrate a valuable tool into my life. I have been using this tool recently with my business.

On this particular Saturday years ago Mitch and I planned to get together for lunch. Just before the appointed time he phoned and mentioned a long time client just called looking to get adjusted right away. Although Mitch’s office was closed he lived nearby and agreed to meet the client. I was annoyed and said so. I suggested he tell the client he was busy and they could meet later. Mitch very patiently replied that he wanted to help this client to feel better and we could meet afterwards. I was still pissed (why I can’t imagine now – seems pretty insignificant. But that’s a window into who I was back then…a bit of an ass).

Later that day when we got together Mitch explained his point of view. He mentioned how this client had been calling for impromptu appointments for years and was always very appreciative. Mitch would always accommodate this client. He knew that we could get lunch afterwards or if that didn’t work out meet later that day. I still was trying to satisfy my need to be right and asked him why not just tell the client the same thing he just told me? He smiled that sagely smile and said, “to what end”? It was one of those moments I’ll always remember. My whole attitude shifted. You know those times in your life when you get a little crack in your awareness? This was one of those. Yeah, exactly! To what end?

In the past I've had some clients that for whatever reason just were not happy with me. There was a time when I would have fought their judgments, negotiated around their requests, taken exception to their unhappiness. Then there are other clients who change their minds a lot about what they want. And other clients who want to meet in the evening or on a weekend. I used to have an attitude about that. When I apply the Wisdom Of Moshe I smile and ask: to what end?

Maybe someone cuts you off on your way to work. Maybe a customer is rude to you. Maybe your spouse forgot to put away the dishes. Maybe the repair shop doesn’t have your car ready yet. Maybe your mother just called and asked you the same thing she asked you yesterday. Now before you react to any of this I want you to ask yourself a couple of really simple questions.

Am I able to not react?

Will I actually be happier if I do react from a place of anger/frustration/revenge/fear?

And if I do react, what are the consequences? Do I really want to go there?

Then ask yourself one more question.

To what end? Think about it - that simple question can turn a whole situation upside down and backwards. When I ask that question I always get clarity and a sense of well being.

See how easy it is?

Thank you Moshe my own personal rabbi . You’re a real mensch!

J

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