Having given you the evening to digest Part One we’re ready to step out and expand. Now I want to take our new favorite little phrase into a bigger potentially more treacherous arena – relationships. Anyone cringing yet? I can hear all the little voices crying out – “what about me…?” Not to worry. In the end it will all be fine. You’ll be much, much happier. Trust me.
When experiencing the transformation that occurs when we can give the best to ourselves by saying “As you wish” imagine the possibilities when we do that with our beloved. For now I only want to focus on the very close relationships in our lives. (For those of you yearning to be in one of these hang in there – this applies to you as well).
In reviewing my intimate relationships in the past I can see how I always tripped over one very big obstacle. ME. That obstacle was my idea of how things “should be”. I was always so invested in my vision of right or wrong, or the division of labor, or who was in charge, or how the load was distributed, or who was in the lead, or who initiated this or that, or who took out the trash….
Ok you must get the idea. To me being in relationship was way more about keeping Jamie intact, then really opening to the wonder of possibility. Hence my multiple chances at practice. For a thick skulled Aries type practice becomes how we live. Practicing our way through life until by some freakish chance (opportunity/Divine Intervention) we get to stop practicing and get in the game. Let me explain. There is a point coming.
So when I met Meghan things changed immediately. Alright, not first met, but when we “got together” (wink, wink) for the first time I knew right away it was not going be the same old story, it was definitely show time. No more rehearsals and playing with keeping my idea of how things should be intact. I tried something else for a change. And god knows how I came to this, maybe I had recently just watched the Princess Bride with Nick, or maybe I was trying to be clever in the throes of a new relationship. You know all that Aries charm in full swing. But a really odd thing happened. When Meg would ask me if I could do something I began to reply “As you wish”. The first time definitely felt a little bit scary. Yet it was also funny to see what happened. Meg went on her way (I’m guessing she was thinking she hit the lottery with this lug) smiling and happy. And I stood there thinking that wasn’t so bad. I’m still here. The world hadn’t ended. I did hear a tiny voice going “help, what about me…” but I said pipe down and ignored it. Actually I felt quite exhilarated. I was hooked. No matter what Meg asked I said “As you wish” just like Westley said to Buttercup. The more I did it the better I felt, and the best part was I could see the favorable reaction in Meg. The little fissures that show up in relationships from bickering and negotiating never evolved into the San Andreas Fault like they often do. The atmosphere in our relationship was peaceful and harmonious and so much of that had to do with me letting go of my point of view, my hardened sense of identity, and surrendering to that beautiful little phrase. The best part is I still am saying it after all these years and we're still happy in Love.
As you wish.
Tomorrow Part Three – The Final Leap of Faith.
Until then enjoy the Fire Swamp, and watch out for the R.O.U.S.!
J
When experiencing the transformation that occurs when we can give the best to ourselves by saying “As you wish” imagine the possibilities when we do that with our beloved. For now I only want to focus on the very close relationships in our lives. (For those of you yearning to be in one of these hang in there – this applies to you as well).
In reviewing my intimate relationships in the past I can see how I always tripped over one very big obstacle. ME. That obstacle was my idea of how things “should be”. I was always so invested in my vision of right or wrong, or the division of labor, or who was in charge, or how the load was distributed, or who was in the lead, or who initiated this or that, or who took out the trash….
Ok you must get the idea. To me being in relationship was way more about keeping Jamie intact, then really opening to the wonder of possibility. Hence my multiple chances at practice. For a thick skulled Aries type practice becomes how we live. Practicing our way through life until by some freakish chance (opportunity/Divine Intervention) we get to stop practicing and get in the game. Let me explain. There is a point coming.
So when I met Meghan things changed immediately. Alright, not first met, but when we “got together” (wink, wink) for the first time I knew right away it was not going be the same old story, it was definitely show time. No more rehearsals and playing with keeping my idea of how things should be intact. I tried something else for a change. And god knows how I came to this, maybe I had recently just watched the Princess Bride with Nick, or maybe I was trying to be clever in the throes of a new relationship. You know all that Aries charm in full swing. But a really odd thing happened. When Meg would ask me if I could do something I began to reply “As you wish”. The first time definitely felt a little bit scary. Yet it was also funny to see what happened. Meg went on her way (I’m guessing she was thinking she hit the lottery with this lug) smiling and happy. And I stood there thinking that wasn’t so bad. I’m still here. The world hadn’t ended. I did hear a tiny voice going “help, what about me…” but I said pipe down and ignored it. Actually I felt quite exhilarated. I was hooked. No matter what Meg asked I said “As you wish” just like Westley said to Buttercup. The more I did it the better I felt, and the best part was I could see the favorable reaction in Meg. The little fissures that show up in relationships from bickering and negotiating never evolved into the San Andreas Fault like they often do. The atmosphere in our relationship was peaceful and harmonious and so much of that had to do with me letting go of my point of view, my hardened sense of identity, and surrendering to that beautiful little phrase. The best part is I still am saying it after all these years and we're still happy in Love.
As you wish.
Tomorrow Part Three – The Final Leap of Faith.
Until then enjoy the Fire Swamp, and watch out for the R.O.U.S.!
J
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