This morning I was driving to visit my granite supplier. The road passes right along the ocean for most of the way there, and the sun was out and the air just a bit warmer than yesterday. I was in business mode, making calls and thinking about all the things I need to do for work today. To be honest I barely saw the waves breaking as I drove along the coastline. I did roll down the window after a few minutes to let the ocean air into the cab of my truck, but remained pretty preoccupied with other things.
After my appointment I made a few more calls as I drove back, still very disconnected to what was going on around me, literally right outside my window. As I came back into Marblehead I pulled over at Preston beach and got out of the truck. I walked to the sea wall that overlooks a long stretch of beach and stood at the edge feeling the slight breeze and listening to the waves being pulled towards the shore then released back to the ocean. It was a sound I hadn’t listened to in a long time. We don’t get to the beach much in winter even though it’s less than a mile from our house.
As I stood looking out at the light glittering on the water I could feel myself remembering . My senses were opening up, my body relaxing, and my mind slowing down. I could feel my body begin to merge with the ocean and then I heard a voice: “oh honey, just throw yourself into the ocean and surrender “. It was Barbara Emrys my Dreaming teacher speaking. I flashed back to Encinitas when I was deep in my process of deconstruction, sitting in my dream chair for hours on end. In one particular desperate moment of confusion I had called Barbara to get a reflection. That’s when she offered that wonderful advice. I asked her if she meant literally. She said it didn’t matter if I went to the ocean and actually jumped in, more importantly was the piece about surrendering. Well I did drive right down to Moonlight beach that day years ago and threw myself into the waves and surrendered. Today I stayed out of the water (way too cold!) knowing it was the internal surrendering Barbara was truly speaking of - and that’s what I have been practicing since that day in California.
So this morning as I felt myself letting go overlooking something so vast and unknowable, I welcomed the surrendering that was happening inside of me that was as deep and as mysterious as Life itself.
Can you spare a moment to surrender right now?
In love, light, and awareness.
J
After my appointment I made a few more calls as I drove back, still very disconnected to what was going on around me, literally right outside my window. As I came back into Marblehead I pulled over at Preston beach and got out of the truck. I walked to the sea wall that overlooks a long stretch of beach and stood at the edge feeling the slight breeze and listening to the waves being pulled towards the shore then released back to the ocean. It was a sound I hadn’t listened to in a long time. We don’t get to the beach much in winter even though it’s less than a mile from our house.
As I stood looking out at the light glittering on the water I could feel myself remembering . My senses were opening up, my body relaxing, and my mind slowing down. I could feel my body begin to merge with the ocean and then I heard a voice: “oh honey, just throw yourself into the ocean and surrender “. It was Barbara Emrys my Dreaming teacher speaking. I flashed back to Encinitas when I was deep in my process of deconstruction, sitting in my dream chair for hours on end. In one particular desperate moment of confusion I had called Barbara to get a reflection. That’s when she offered that wonderful advice. I asked her if she meant literally. She said it didn’t matter if I went to the ocean and actually jumped in, more importantly was the piece about surrendering. Well I did drive right down to Moonlight beach that day years ago and threw myself into the waves and surrendered. Today I stayed out of the water (way too cold!) knowing it was the internal surrendering Barbara was truly speaking of - and that’s what I have been practicing since that day in California.
So this morning as I felt myself letting go overlooking something so vast and unknowable, I welcomed the surrendering that was happening inside of me that was as deep and as mysterious as Life itself.
Can you spare a moment to surrender right now?
In love, light, and awareness.
J
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