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Don't Follow Me I'm Lost

Don’t Follow Me I’m Lost

I love that bumper sticker. I saw it this morning on my way to a client meeting. You ever have those days when as soon as you wake up you’re feeling slightly behind and maybe a little tweaked internally? The day hasn’t even gotten started and the mind is trying to overload itself and short circuit.

I had one of those mornings. Throughout my morning rituals I was feeling tired, a little down mentally, and slightly judgmental about it. It was as if a tiny black cloud was following me, obscuring my ability to feel clear. I generally wake up ready to conquer the world like I forgot all about whatever went down yesterday. Yeah I’m one of those mildly obnoxious morning people that can totally grate on the non-morning ones.

Anyway, today I couldn’t shake the unsettled feeling inside. Even during my client meeting I was unsure how I was coming across to this client while I was talking to them about renovating their kitchen. It felt like I was talking under water, or like the teacher in the Peanuts cartoons. Wah Wah Wah. Finally I gave up on trying. I was tired of following me. I started to ask the client about her business. Before I knew it she was happily telling me about the various endeavors she has going on. It was nice not to be the one leading the way. I started to feel a bit better.

An hour later I was at the Atomic Cafe getting a latte. Andrew was telling me about a land development project he had heard about. The place was quiet at that moment so I leaned on the counter and just listened. He went on for a bit and I could feel that little dark cloud that had been my companion today going bye-bye. The noise my mind had been making all day was gradually tuning in to another human, following another story, and letting go of its story.

After lunch I was ready to take the lead again, ready to see the day, not be overwrought and blind to it. But you know maybe it’s best not to follow me anyway. Just in case.

In light, love and the occasional fog bank.

J

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