Skip to main content

Freedom Is Just Another Word?

Freedom

I love this word for so many different reasons. Say the word and count how many ideas flash across our mental movie screen? These themes of freedom bring to mind so many clichés: fight for our freedom, let freedom ring, economic freedom, religious freedom. So once again I went to Wikipedia (sorry Syl) and the array of definitions, explanations, philosophies, and interpretations of this word made my eyes cross and were way too numerous to list here. For this particular blog I want to focus on the idea of personal freedom. For those of you who want to hear more about my motorcycle, sit still. I’ll get there.

How many of you really feel like you have personal freedom? If I were to ask many a reply would sound like this: “yeah I want it but this job has me tied…”, or “I wish I had it now, maybe when the kids are out of college…”, or how’s this sound “my spouse/partner won’t let me do my thing without some argument, or attitude.” Sound familiar? How about this voice: “I could never do that”, “oh freedom is a nice idea but I…”, “I wish I had the money” (substitute any other word you can think of for money). You get the picture. Freedom is an elusive, slippery concept that we find little support for both externally and internally. I like the internal part because most of you reading this blog hopefully aren’t faced with a political environment that restricts your physical freedom.

So you ask, what does internal freedom feel like? What sensations does it bring on? How does it affect the way we live? Let’s assume for a moment dear readers, that you are budding masters of you own attention and that you can slow down the internal dialogue far enough to get fairly present with what’s going on in front of you, i.e. your immediate life experience. This is the cornerstone of internal freedom – slowing things down enough to begin to see the spaces between thoughts, to see the brief moment we all have to choose between automatically reacting to life and responding with awareness to life. With that foundation of responding to life in place we can begin to build on the feeling that begins to infuse our body. I liken it to being on two wheels.

Since I was about Bodhi’s age I’ve been drawn to wheeled objects - tricycles, mini bikes, dirt bikes, mountain bikes, road bikes, motorcycles, and eventually even faster motorcycles. The thing I love is the sensation I get from being balanced, totally focused (the penalty is harsh for not paying attention), and completely in the moment. There is nothing else that I do that gives me the same feeling (well maybe one other thing). I remember my Tibetan guru telling me I was wasting my time racing mountain bikes back in the late 1980’s. He thought as a seeker and grown man I was better off sitting on my mediation cushion than sitting on my bike seat. I tried to explain to him that I was in a state of bliss and expansion when I rode – that place of non-conception that the Buddhists strive for. He never got that. It is an experience that I got more of on the seat of a bicycle or motorcycle than on a lovely cushion in front of an altar. Not that I didn’t have some wonderful insights on that cushion, it’s just the overwhelming feeling from riding was somehow more impact-full. My mind, body, and two wheeled friend were one unit in perfect harmony. My mind was processing the terrain in front of me. I wasn’t reminiscing about the past or projecting into the future – just totally present. Isn’t that the goal? Speaking of impact, maybe my guru in his infinite wisdom and with all his admonitions not to ride knew something I didn’t; that one day I would ride myself off a 35 foot cliff on my mountain bike. That however is another story for another blog (Near Death Experiences - hummm).

So the feelings I experienced when riding were similar to an experience I had years ago when I first met don Miguel Ruiz. An invitation was made by Miguel to those in attendance at the seminar he was teaching. What if we were totally free to live our lives however we decided? Not how society, or our family, or our friends, or our mind or program decided. But truly how we decided in every moment. What if we lived in a state of complete Love? During this seminar it was as if someone distilled the feelings I got from being on two wheels and put them in my feet and then that sensation spread from my feet throughout the rest of my body. For one whole day I was transformed, seeing and feeling like I had never before. It was a brief experience but one that totally shifted my point of view. From that time on I have been perfecting the art of being free. The feelings in me that freedom supports are: love, acceptance, balance, kindness, lightheartedness, humor and openness. The sensations that freedom brings on are: warm, calm, light, tingly, and a humming vibration. I finally made this connection without being on two wheels. So don’t everybody run out and buy a bicycle or motorcycle, ok?

So what’s the result? How does all that play out in our daily lives? What’s the payoff for this personal freedom thing? For me it has resulted in being in the relationship of my dreams, having two sons I adore, being successful at whatever I choose to focus on, not believing my old story lines that limit me as an expression of life, being more present in each moment, and feeling so good inside simply as an expression of my personal freedom.

Oh yeah, and riding that new motorcycle when I choose to experience the visceral outward form of what I’m feeling inside. A beautiful thing being human isn’t it? We get the opportunity to have a pas-de-deux between mind and body, with Life providing the background music.

See ya out there on the road.

In Love, Light, and Awareness,

J

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Losing His Hero

Today in my morning meditation I was strongly feeling my middle brother David who passed away almost two months ago on November 20, 2023. He was 71 years old. A bit of preface here: He also was my abuser growing up (to clarify: emotional and physical, not sexual) and although I had reconciled those experiences through my own inner trauma work we never spoke directly about that time in our lives. We were never very close in our young adulthood although he was very generous when I moved to Encinitas CA to participate in don Miguel Ruiz’s Dreaming School in 2002. He and his wife Carol lived two towns over in Solana Beach. We interacted quite a bit sharing meals and dog walks on the beach and David took a real interest in my son Nick who was 12 at the time. It wasn’t until 20 years later that I became fully aware to the degree of harm I experienced at the hands of my brother while involved in some somatic therapy around my CPTSD diagnosis. I was becoming repeatedly trigg

Waking Up with the What Ifs

Apparently last night I had been dreaming of a life I left behind 11 years ago.  Snippets of memory like peering through a gauzy veil, and scenes vaguely reminiscent of my life as a builder in a small coastal town north of Boston. I woke up with the What Ifs. You know how dreams are: like your eyes can’t completely focus, situations that are seemingly disconnected but maybe not, faces you know but can’t place, yet the feeling in the dream is quite real. I was back in Old Town and trying to figure out why the house I was in was unfinished. There was a meeting to be had there, but it was just me. I walked down a cobbled street to what I figured to be the office of the architect and it was a room of all glass and about 10 people seated around a glass table. I tried to get the attention of the man who was the architect on this particular job without disrupting the meeting. He looked like a friend who wasn’t an architect but a realtor and a neighbor.  I wondered how he switched care

Mindset Like a Dog

This morning after getting the kids off to school I decided to take my dogs for a longer than usual hike on our local mountain. I took a couple big swigs of water, layered up, added hat and gloves, and headed out the gate. The dogs knew what was up and bounced around me, excited and eager for whatever lay ahead. Yet every time they see me putting on my boots it’s like they have never been walked before. Their excitement is fresh. Every day. How is it that they have no idea how long or short I am going to walk them, yet they are always down to walk? I never have to prod them out of their lethargy.  Rain, snow, or sun, they are ready.  Anytime. This got me to wondering what if I adopted this dog mindset? What exactly would that feel like? ******* Recently I’ve felt flat. Not super inspired.  I’m attempting to increase my client base as a Mindset Coach and honestly renovating a 200-year-old house like in my former life feels markedly easier than landing new clients.   It’s the